Former England captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the condition.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to completely absorb that at the present time," he commented.
"It isn't that I don't understand where it's heading. We understand that. But there is certainly a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking together with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his current health, his family and planning ahead for when the disease worsens.
"Maybe that's surprise or perhaps I process things differently, and when I have the details, it's simpler," he stated further.
Early Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the issue, a series of scans indicated nerve cells in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably extremely moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't feel sick. I don't feel unwell
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be capable of accomplishing all activities. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Disease Advancement
MND can develop swiftly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the disease claims a third of people within a year and more than half within 730 days of identification, as swallowing and breathing become more difficult.
Medical care can only retard decline.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," added an emotional Moody.
"There's grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Consequences
Talking from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he spoke about telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We sat on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and began removing the drops off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody said the emphasis was remaining in the moment.
"There is no treatment and that is why you have to be very militantly focused on just accepting and savoring each moment now," he said.
"According to Annie, we've been truly lucky that the only real choice I made when I left playing was to spend as much time with the kids as attainable. We don't get those periods back."
Player Link
Elite athletes are unevenly affected by MND, with investigations indicating the incidence of the illness is up to 600% elevated than in the wider community.
It is thought that by restricting the air accessible and causing damage to nerve cells, frequent, strenuous physical activity can trigger the disease in those already vulnerable.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his brave, relentless method to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once caused a training-ground confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a tackle pad and commenced throwing himself into tackles.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the end of the throw-in in the critical passage of play, creating a foundation for playmaker Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing field goal.
Support System
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who led England to that title, and a handful of other previous team-mates about his diagnosis, but the others will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the moment, just having that kind of love and recognition that people are available is what's important," he commented.
"This game is such a great community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your love your profession, it's one of the most important privileges.
"Achieving this for so extended a time with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I understand they will want to support in any way they can and I await having those talks."
